Child support In the 1st degree
Is it right for a woman to recieve child support from a man, and take care of her other kids by different men and her new man with it. Just because her child father has a good paying job.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Maica J on -
to be honest i never really understood the concept of child support. i mean yeah i understand its there to help out the mother but at the same time its stilll a no win situation. bcuz at the end of the day the child needs to spend time with his/her father not the money that he makes. half of which they wont even see bcuz theses females spend the money on items that dont benfit them or the child.
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Permalink Reply by Justin Stewart on -
Child support is the number one reason black dudes try to avoid getting serious with black women. For some reason, everything goes to hell after a baby, henceforth the invention of the phrase baby mama drama. Child support only makes things worse when a man is fully aware of the fact that his money meant for his child is going elsewhere and if there's another man, she essentially doesnt need it and the father should simply utilize it when he is with his child or whenever THE CHILD needs something
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Permalink Reply by charlieblanko on -
HELL NO!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Good Intentions on -
You must be high or never had the responsibility of raising children. BLACK MEN need to step up and stop producing children they cannot take care of or there father (most likely the mother) needs to teach them the meaning of being a man. Big brothers are raising little brothers to be boys. A little boy cannot raise another little boy to be a man nor can a woman. So you have no role models or men to raise these little boys so they end lost and when it's too late, once they realize what a man really is, there past comes to hunt them (Sad).
Yes it takes more than money to raise a child but if the father was in the picture and helping with that child then personally I don't see the need for child support. But everyone knows when either parent finds another man or woman all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden no one is good enough to be around that child and it goes on and on. So now all of a sudden no help with the child, no support for daycare expense (since he doesn't want to help anymore due to jealousy), now you have to pay for daycare which takes away from your grocery money, mortgage money, and utilities. That's where child support kicks in and now all of a sudden it's unfair. To WHO? The man? or the woman who has to provide, take care of, sacrifice, and maintain her sanity to raise THEIR son. And what does he do? He decides to make another baby and the curse continues.
Yes, we have ignorant parents and yes, some people are grimy and only have kids for one reason but if one parent has that childs best interest at heart then they would do everything in their power to take care of that child. If you feel you can raise your child better then go to court and file for full custody. When a child is born both parents have the same rights to that child but like clock work one parent leaves behind that child to be taken care of by God knows who.
I can care less about these deadbeat dads out there with children they produce and don't care for because honestly money doesn't help when it comes to raising a child.
I personally am raising my children alone. I have had issues due to people trying to kidnap my children, relocating to another city for the protection of my children and trying to get their father to help me keep them safe. I got a flat out NO I CAN'T HELP YOU. This man has been employed for over 15 years with the same company but decided to move to another state to get out of paying child support for his children. He was there during their birth, he helped me take care of them and when I decided that our relationship was not going to work he bailed out due to the fact that he could not have ME. That's what it boiled down to, Me or Nothing.
So this is a classic case where child support is needed but I guess I have to try to raise them on my income alone. THAT REALLY SOUNDS FAIR TO ME!
I have even tried to set up an agreement where he has them 1/2 the year but he is unable to do that. I have tried to give him the opportunity to spend time with them. I have even offered to pay and bring them there, but no I can't.
So for all the people on here who thinks that women or men should not get child support from an absent parent must have lost their minds. I struggle everyday to raise my children to be responsible law abiding citizens and to study hard so they can be productive and able to raise their families. So it is not easy at all when you have no choice but to raise your children. I didn't set out for this. I feel it is very unfair to put all of the responsibility on one parent while the other parent takes the easy road out. I have had many mental break downs and wonder where the hell did I go wrong but I look at my children and they bring my joy. They make me keep my head held high.
STEP UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN, BE IT MAN OR WOMAN.
Justin Stewart said:Child support is the number one reason black dudes try to avoid getting serious with black women. For some reason, everything goes to hell after a baby, henceforth the invention of the phrase baby mama drama. Child support only makes things worse when a man is fully aware of the fact that his money meant for his child is going elsewhere and if there's another man, she essentially doesnt need it and the father should simply utilize it when he is with his child or whenever THE CHILD needs something
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Permalink Reply by Antwone McAfee on -
NO ITS NOT RIGHT, ITS ALSO NOT RIGHT FOR YOUR BABY MOMMA TO TELL YOU THAT SHE DONT NEED CHILDSUPPORT, BUT WANTS U ON IT CUZ SHE MAD YALL AINT TOGETHER. FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE
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Permalink Reply by Antwone McAfee on
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Permalink Reply by OmarPHI215 on
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The short answer is no because the child support is to take care of the child, not moms hair weave, her boyfriends b-day presents or the half brother/or sister's x-mas gifts. On the flip, the father that pays support but not around for his child has no say in where the money goes. Who can prove what the mother is doing with that money. The child support system is set up for woman in my opinion. The man that is not around shouldn't be concerned or else he need to be around his child.
NOW, I must address Good Intentions first few lines which read:
You must be high or never had the responsibility of raising children. BLACK MEN need to step up and stop producing children they cannot take care of or there father (most likely the mother) needs to teach them the meaning of being a man.
Sister with all do respect to how you feel, women have the babies physically. It is up to woman (partly) to know what a good man is and recognize if the situation is right or not. I agree, black men need some work, however so do black women. From a psychological standpoint, I understand that as a woman, there is a need to be loved, by something, and that something ends up being a baby because the girl feels that the baby will love them unconditionally. When that doesn't happen, the man they chose to lay down with is hit with "you aint s**t, etc" when half the time the dude does not want a child but knows he "should" be there. Young men don't know what to expect when it comes to babies and young women don't either, however they still keep babies they shouldn't have or can't take care of. I am going to say for the most part it is the woman's fault, yeah I said it.
I say its the fault of the woman because just like we need to be men, women need to step up and not give up the a**, do more research on who this dude is she laying down with, and needs to be on some form of birth control as well. Women get impregnated, not men. I have every right to say this because I am a man that stepped up to the plate, gave up time and money going cross country to help with a baby that ended up not being mine at all. When I found out and tried to sue the girl for lying to me, the lawyers basically said, there is nothing I can do. What about that? What about when a man expresses he doesn't want kids, and the girl stops birth control without him knowing, or won't get an abortion. Abortion is a touchy subject, and if a woman knows she will never get one she NEEDS to either take a pill, a shot or simply not have sex. Again women have more control over these types of situations and unfortunately the govt. made it so easy for a woman to be somewhat taken care of, these young girls know that the baby will be provided for by the state for the first year, more than likely they will get child support, and extra income tax money every year etc. Most girls I know with babies only get mad about the dude leaving when the baby looks just like the father, and when they can't afford something they want because of the baby's expenses, or when they can't find a sitter etc.
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Permalink Reply by Monique on
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Hell No! What you need to do is go back to court and inform the judge,that the money you are sending to take care of your child, the mother is taking care of her boyfriend and her other children with.Ask the judge can he set and order that everytime she spends money on your child she must keep all the recieipts. So you know what she's spending on your child. I know because it happen with my brother
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Permalink Reply by Justin Stewart on
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Not to take away from your particular circumstances, I'm speaking in terms of general. Whether I have a child or not, I can't allow any type of bias otherwise my opinion is one-sided. Looking from both sides of the fence, it takes two to produce.
Children are having babies at alarming rates now and all of the blame cannot be placed into the hands of the male. Saying ti bluntly, nobody told girls to open their legs or even worse, allow a man to go in there raw with the whole 'Oh, I'll pull out I promise' bs.
Money doesnt replace absence and when a father or mother is absent from the family life, there is a void and bitterness, whether people will admit it or not, can sometime come into playand there are spiteful people out there. Some are rushing into a relationship and are under the belief that their significant other will truly ride all the way, but most are clouded by their emotions and don't know how their significant other will react when bumps come into the road.
Plus, it might be rare, but don't act as though there aren't men that have a woman run out and leave the children. There's no ramifications for the woman there usually.
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Permalink Reply by Drew Bop on -
If most of these dudes would establish themselves as the the dominant provider/caretaker and move in such away where they can prove that it would be in the child’s best interest to be with them at least 50% of the time, paying for other kids that’s not theirs would not be an issue. On the other hand most of the time the courts side with the woman no matter how inadequate of a mother she is.
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Permalink Reply by Justin Stewart on
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Child support has transitioned from a means to actually support the upbringing of a child to a cheap excuse to get money on the side.
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Permalink Reply by charlieblanko on
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Yup. Alot of things in America get exploited the same way. Child Support is ridiculous. It will make a man stay in a tore back relationship. SMH
Justin Stewart said:Child support has transitioned from a means to actually support the upbringing of a child to a cheap excuse to get money on the side.
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